“The Other Quiet Mom”

This article struck me because it summed up a lot of our conversation from a previous post.

“Few ever realize how frequently and repetitively other mothers tell their “stories from the front” — of pregnancy, labor and delivery, newborn gazing, breastfeeding — unless they are one of the mothers who must master how to avoid tears just to be able to stay in the room. Some of us develop our quirks and smirks — the way we shift our gaze or hold our lips to keep it together while we decide whether to leave the table, physically or mentally. Sometimes we’re distracted by wondering if we should join in: should I too tell tales of contractions or the funny thing my husband, like yours, did on the way to the hospital? But stories that end with “and then they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat” generally stop a conversation.”

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what do you think of the article?  have you read any articles lately that speak to you?

13 thoughts on ““The Other Quiet Mom”

  1. I really loved this. When I experienced my first miscarriage, one of my best friends had the same due date as me…so her daughter is constant reminder of how old my first baby would be. I just experienced my second last week, and my due date was around my living son’s birthday. I feel like now I’ll forever look at the date differently.

    • oh lauren, I didnt know you just had a second miscarriage! I’m so sorry 😦 It’s so hard when dates line up with other important dates in our lives. My birthday will always be a reminder of Mabel- celebrating so close to hers. that and valentine’s day, which didnt really mean much for me in the past, but now will always be shadowed by the day I went into labor and my goodbye process started. You know how to reach me if you need anything, k?

      • Thanks Megan! I actually had an appointment with you scheduled for Monday, before we found out we lost the baby. I had planned on bringing you a carrot cake cupcake from Sugar. ❤

    • yes. I’ve left many a scene to prevent my tears from making others uncomfortable too. even when I stay, I hold my tongue, lest something uncomfortable spills out.

  2. I sobbed reading this article. I have been so consumed by the short-term loss of losing our son that I really haven’t thought about how painful this will be 5 years down the road when 2 of my friends who also had babies within months of when Thomas was born will have their kids starting kindergarten, etc. The grief is really never-ending on so many levels.

    • oh yes. I think about that often, the other babies that will forever remind me. I have to figure out a way to deal with it, because the babies are family babies and I cant hide forever. but it’s just so sad.

  3. Pingback: (à) pas de bébé | le marcassin envolé

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