Day 4: Now

Day 4: Now

Now…I hold puppies.  Before… I held babies.  Now, after my baby died.  Before, before my baby died.

My little pup is becoming my new world and a lifeline to the old world to which I belonged.  In The Before, I was very social and outgoing; I would talk to strangers easily.  In my Now, I’ve come a long way.  At first I was that pariah like lump sitting in the corner at social gatherings, ready to burst into tears at any minute.  Now I can socialize, being present in conversation, but I am far from the social butterfly I once was.  Muppet, however, is the socialite I once was.  Today, while at a cyclocross race, Muppet would walk up unabashedly to a group of people and stare up at them saying with her eyes “hi there! look at me!” So I was forced to interact with many more  people than I would have.  I practiced smiling and pleasantries with strangers, something I used to be good at.  Now… I hold puppies and am slowly re-entering the world I used to be so comfortable in.

#CaptureYourGrief

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Day 4: Now

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