Sunday Synopsis

Changing early pregnancy etiquette– I like this article because it keeps on the theme I”m seeing more and more of in mainstream media- let’s talk about our losses!  espeically miscarriage- the hush hush secret.

THe healing power of animals.  This is like my story, sort of.  We got our puppy six months after Mabel died.  I needed something to love and mother.  It’s not a save-all.  Getting my puppy doesnt undo the grief of burying my child, but I found comfort in it.  Do you have an animal in your life that has helped you in your grief?

I hope that you never know.  I love this article for addressing the grief olympics that sometimes comes in the bereaved world.  I also love that it says “be there…even when you are pushed away.” to those who want to support us.  I can’t say how important this one line is to me.

Couples who chose not to have children are selfish, Pope says. Not to bring in any debate about religion, but any thoughts on this?  I think of couples who lost babies to due multiple miscarriages, due to life limiting conditions, due to stillbirth, due to reasonless reasons.  What if they choose not to go through the pain of another pregnancy?  What of the couples who struggle with infertility?  There just feels likes there’s too much behind being childless for people (religious heads or not) to judge.


2 thoughts on “Sunday Synopsis

  1. Okay, I’m not Catholic but I did study religion and I do know a *tiny* bit about their sacraments- marriage being one of them. Procreation, in the Catholic mindset, is inextricably linked – sex is about being open to the possibility of new life. Since a practicing Catholic shouldn’t be using contraception, either have sex and be open to having a baby or don’t have sex at all. It is acceptable to use natural planning to track cycles and space pregnancies as needed (abstaining for health reasons are viewed as valid by the Church). From what I gathered (and his recent statements decrying contraception- nothing new), this was about being married without being open to life. Not about infertility or being unable, but rather, being unwilling. Again, no theologian here, so I’m not trying to step on toes and someone can correct me if I’m wrong. Some of the nuances are lost on me.
    I’m a practicing Lutheran, thoroughly happy and willing to use birth control without fear of Heavenly retribution. 🙂 I am also completely okay with couples not having children or people not getting married. My best friend has no forseeable plans to get married or have kids. I certainly don’t view her life as less fulfilling or that she’s more selfish because of it. On the contrary, she’s actually the godmother to my daughter. Go figure. She believes she was called to love on other people’s children. I see nothing selfish in that.
    That being said, if the Catholic church does put that much pressure on people to get married and have families, I feel concerned for the couples experiencing loss and infertility – frequently silent burdens – and the possibility of being judged for not having children. I understand there’s a long, intertwining theological thread as to why the church thinks that way, but I feel like it’s a dangerous line that might alienate lots of people.
    Holy cow this is long. Sorry! But thanks for the thought provoking links, as always.

    • your comments- long or not- are totally welcome! I actually love the long ones 🙂 I think one of the most striking things about the article is simply the headline. I remember clicking on a link posted by NPR about the percentages of people who just read the headline and never click the link (i think it was april fools- and it wasnt a real article, but there was so much truth in it) ANd so headlines are so important. I was raised catholic, but do not subscribe to the religion now (though I certainly value many of its tenants, like most religions that encourage being good people, charity, kindness, forgiveness, etc) and the catholic religion can sometimes get bad press- but at the same time there are such specificities, like you outlined above, that can be hard to swallow, especially if you’ve experienced some loss or struggle.

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