20 things that babyloss moms do that feel crazy– do you do some of these things? anything you’d add to the list?
Not everyone gets a rainbow– I’ve read this article before and I recently came back to it. I think this is so so important. We fight against the platitudes of “you can always have another” but yet we recognize that grief does seem to get a bit easier if we have a rainbow. BUT what if we can’t have a rainbow? What if we are struggling to have a rainbow? I stiffen at any story that includes a rainbow as part of “healing” because it immediately alienates anyone who doesn’t have a rainbow. We all (rainbow or not) need to know how survive life.
Getting grief right– This article came across my fb feed at just the right time. I’m clearly struggling with grieving “right.” Unlike the woman in the article I didn’t feel like I was succeeding at grief in the beginning- I took a lot of time off. But here’s the thing, I felt like I was succeeding- I had (have?) this vision of the kind of bereaved mother I want to/should be.
and then from some of my followers/blogs I follow, these recent posts really hit home:
On prayer and the randomness of the world– Whoa. When people survive a tragedy, saying they were watched over by angels, what does it mean for us who didn’t survive (ie our babies died)? Are we not watched over? Are we being punished?
Being reproductively challenged today– talk about gratitude. She’s struggling with infertility and yet can find something to be grateful for about her situation. At least (and I hate that phrase) she’s struggling in this day and age and not hundreds of years ago.
On an unrelated note, today is a special day. I met Thomas’s mom at my perinatal loss support group- she was the first in-person person I met who had neonatal loss and was on the same grief timeline as me. Today I am paying special remembrance to Thomas and his mom and dad as they honor him on his first birthday. Happy Birthday, Thomas.