Sunday Synopsis

What to expect during your first postpartum doctor appointment after loss–  I appreciated this article (though I wish she used “provider” rather than “doctor” but that’s just the midwife in me.)  She mentions how she wishes her doctor had given more emotional support.  I bet many of us feel that way (though I do have to give a shout out to my midwives, who might just be the exception). From the provider perspective, I bet many are at a loss as far how to help those who have lost.  I think it speaks that providers need more guidance on just how to provide that emotional support.  Any concrete suggestions?

Unexpected lives– A fascinating read. These five stories of families given difficult diagnoses for their children.  I of course could relate in a way and it also helps me visualize a little what my life might have been life had Mabel lived.  Gripping.

The Sacred Project– Have you seen this?  Are you in this?  I signed up for this project but never got around to submitting (or taking) a photo.  A little regret that I never did, because it’s so beautiful.  Props.

We’re Having a Baby Together- For Short Lives– I know this is not applicable to most, but I am just so impressed that this video exists.

Remembering a sad sad day two years ago- the Sandy Hook shooting, a tragedy that is close to home- both physically and emotionally now that I too am part of the child lost community in CT.  Thinking of those parents, the families and the children today, especially.


Has any article really spoken to you this week?  Please share.


4 thoughts on “Sunday Synopsis

  1. I had to go back to the hospital for postpartum bleeding / retained products, and I so wish there had been a red sticker saying “recent loss” on my chart. Far too many people asked how the twins were doing, etc. Sometimes even after I told them they were born at 20 weeks. Often these were the first nurses to take care of me, so they wouldn’t have had a lot of time to read my chart. Still, “previable premature delivery” as the most recent entry should be quite clear. All the senior staff I saw knew and found a way to express their sympathies. It would have been great not having to explain this every time. When I was 30something weeks with SB I had a young doctor check in with me because of the number of heartbeats on the NST, and she immediately understood how hard it was having to explain this so often, and somehow took care of it.
    Another important item is PPD. My doctor was quite concerned about that, saying that my risk was higher due to the loss.
    My hospital/provider’s office also set up a consultation appointment for us a few weeks after A&C’s birth. It was good to have someone to talk to sooner that after the typical 6 weeks. The MFM of our choice spent 90 min talking to us about what might have gone wrong, how to monitor and hopefully prevent it in a future pregnancy, considerations for timelines of trying again – and that there really was nothing we could have done. I can’t even say how much I appreciate this.

    • ugh- yes- there should be a big red sticker that says recent loss! We have just transitioned to electronic medical records over the past year and I have totally had an issue of wanting some big electronic sticker to put on someone’s chart for just those reasons. I’ve even had myself a time where someone had recently had a miscarriage and it wasnt clear in the chart. I felt awful and so frustrated that it should be easier! The charting isnt specifically made for OB, so no one thought ahead for times like these.

      I’m glad you had such thoughtful followup with your MFM. I’v ebeen trying to do sooner followup with our practice’s loss pts- by phone if nothing else.

  2. I think we want more emotional support from our doctors, but that isn’t what they’re there for. Some empathy and compassion, sure, but they’re there to make sure we’re physically healthy. Maybe provide suggestions on how to get the emotional health back up to speed. What surprised me about my first postpartum visit was what little was accomplished. The doctor who was present at the delivery said I needed to be seen in 2 weeks, I assumed for stitches since the baby had just been born and hadn’t even died yet. When I tried to make the appointment, the receptionist argued with me that they never saw women in 2 weeks; that was too soon. But I did what the other doctor said. The receptionist gave me a checklist for postpartum depression, but at the 6 week checkup it was never mentioned. I recently learned most postpartum depression sets in 6 weeks-6 months post-baby, so I thought it strange that the 2 week appointment was to only determine if they could diagnose me with postpartum depression, but they didn’t care about my emotional health at the 6 week appointment. Or ever after as it’s been. Not too much criticism, just thought it strange.

    • That is strange. 2 weeks is usually for post c-section appointments to check incisions, or for people with issues- like high blood pressure in labor, or special circumstances like ours, where we have just a “check in” visit at 2 weeks- but then the provider should do just that! have time just to talk, process things. and secretaries should know too!

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