Food Drive

Chris’s workplace is holding a holiday food drive.   I picked up some suggested items over the weekend and put a little label on each.  I was unsure if it were appropriate or not, thinking about the families that get these.  I imagine they must be in a hard place to be needing food so badly they accept donations.  How would they feel seeing a sticker on the food saying it was donated in honor of a baby?  The sticker itself is a reminder that it was a donation and they couldn’t afford to buy themselves.  Chris seemed to think it was ok, so I did it.  I like to think they’ll all be going to the same family having a nice meal because of Mabel, though I realize each item might touch a different family.

"Donated in memory of Mabel, born February 15, 2014"

“Donated in memory of Mabel, born February 15, 2014”

I’m planning on doing something for Christmas- possibly donating an age appropriate outfit or toy for what Mabel would have been.  The only hard part is the shopping for it.  I’m having a hard enough time shopping for a family baby that is a few months younger than Mabel would have been.

Are you doing anything in memory of your baby or loved one this holiday season?

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15 thoughts on “Food Drive

  1. What a lovely idea. We always donate the money we would spend on buying and sending Christmas cards to a charity. This year we have given to the Christian Aid Christmas Campaign which is to aid maternal health care in Kenya. Last year was similar.

    • OMG- yes! yes! I love this idea. i”m totally going to look into it. I just dont find any satisfaction shopping for baby clothes/toys but for a senior citizen, I could do!

  2. We have always sponsored a child the same age as B.W., ever since he died in 2006. I go out and select Christmas presents that I believe an X-year old boy would want. We did the same in memory of Zachary this year, and I have to say that I resent the heck out of it. It is pretty disheartening to be so disgruntled with a “something good” we try to do. I’ll be writing about that particular hardship soon…

    The gift of food is such a great way to honor your Mabel. Hunger (and being deprived of a good/festive meal) seems to be so entirely invisible unless you are living it.

    • I just have to say, that’s exactly how I feel when I imagine doing something like that in memory of my son… So resentful!!!

    • Yes, I feel resentment about other babies that are living and thriving that are mabel’s age (an issue I am working on, especially in therapy), so I understand your feelings. I think I’m going to skip the baby outfit/toy shopping and do something else instead- like a senior citizen. It’s crummy to feel resentment when doing something good. :/ (i’ll be eager to read…)

  3. since last year, I have decided to collect Christmas ornaments each year. One for Kevin, one for my husband and one for me. Just last week, I had an urge of buying a cheerful Christmas outfit for kevin but gave up in the middle of shopping, for the reasons you may suspect. 😦

    • I do like the ornaments idea. I have been gifted some ornaments and that might be the only reason I put up a tree this year .still uncertain- having some logistical trouble scheduling tree getting time. A fellow babyloss friend offered us the chance to cut down a charlie-brown type tree from their large property and that seemed just so so right, if I were to get a tree. I”m just trying to make it work!

  4. I can imagine someone being happy to know a little bit about the person behind the donation, and I think everyone is always enriched by the reminder that life can be short and unpredictable.

    Sacha’s dad will be throwing a hot chocolate party for kids and moms in a small mountain community in Peru, and I donated money for the party. I’d like to do something more direct, in Sacha’s honor, than just donating… But I’m not sure if I really have the strength. Outside of work, I often still feel like I don’t want to help anyone if I can’t help my Sacha. A great attitude, I know 😉

    • I love the hot chocolate party idea- yes it might not be uper direct, but it’s something you know is happening because of Sacha (in another world, he would have been at the party). And I totally understand your lack of energy outside of work. Being a provider is exhausting in itself- showing compassion, caring for people all day long (let alone resident hours!) and its often hard to find the energy and motivation to give anything outside of work. I totally get that. attitude be damned!

      • I did think of something: I might donate my hair. I haven’t gotten it cut since before I got pregnant.

      • Holy cow– I’ve been saying the same thing! I did get mine cut not long after Mabel and I just cant bring myself to go back (“i forget,” the hairdresser said. “DO you have kids?” I replied “none living” and got such an awkward response back- it was my first time using that phrase, wont say it again that way.) so I’m just not cutting my hair. I was thinking about locks of love or something! Let me know if you do!

      • I donated my hair the day before I gave birth to Seraphim (I didn’t realise at the time just how close those events would be). I already knew he probably wasn’t going to make it, and I needed the hair out of my way for all of the things they were going to hook me up with, so I was able to get rid of something I had to and pass it on to someone who could use it.

      • I remember, you had cut your hair just before Seraphim was born- but i had forgotten you donated it! such a lovely gesture tied into your birth story.

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