Sunday synopsis

Some articles I came across that spoke to me:

How Heaven Can Hurt Grief Work.- believing in an afterlife can help us cope with death, but sometimes spiritual words can belittle our tragedy.

As some of you know my daughter was stillborn– a tattoo that is just so so beautiful.

Babyloss Awreness Week -The Huntington Post got it right again.

Healing after a miscarriage -like a good midwife I follow some important professional boards on facebook and this article from the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology popped up on my newsfeed.  good job ACOG.

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12 thoughts on “Sunday synopsis

  1. I love the first link – I couldn’t agree more. Those religious platitudes are some of the ones that annoy me most. I know they’re usually well-meant, but they offend me – like we weren’t good enough for Hugo. Grrr. That hand tattoo is stunning, what a beautiful tribute. X

    • hah- not good enough for Hugo! If people only could hear what they are implying! Intentions are good, but the words sting- the “god’s plan” gets me. really? god’s plan includes my baby dying and yours living? thanks.

  2. I love the comment under emotional healing in the last article when the woman talks about how people would console her by saying “don’t worry, you’ll have more babies!” and how she states she wasn’t worried about having more babies, she wanted THAT baby. This is so true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that comment! It drives me crazy when people minimize the loss. It doesn’t matter how far along the loss occurs, it’s a loss. It’s a death. What makes one think that it’s comforting to hear that we will have future babies when all we wanted was this baby? I’m grateful for articles like this one that sheds light on the emotions we endure.

    • right? totally minimizing of our loss! I really like the articles when they make it mainstream- IO hope others outside the loss community read it (the ones who really need insight!)

  3. First- hand tattoo- stunning. It made my heart skip a beat.
    Second- the first link. You know that I am not a member of the baby loss community (but I can’t/won’t stop reading!), but yes, yes, yes. I had two family members die from very terrible illnesses relatively early and the only religious saying that I ever liked was “God is sad too.” I’m a very religious person, but despite viewing my inevitable death as eternal life in the best sense, I wanted to grieve. I felt like that sort of gave me permission, that I wasn’t forced to be super happy because she was in a “better place.” She had lots of love here!

    • I like that, “god is sad too.” I agree, that might be the only one I could sit with. It is a nice way to bring religion into it (from someone not religious 🙂

  4. Woah! What an amazing tatoo! So touching.

    And I couldn’t agree more with the first post on religion undermining grief and even making it seem like you don’t have enough faith if you are grieving! I’ve been told repeatedly that God does not want me to grieve my son because he is safe with him. What? That’s supposed to make me feel better? Then why aren’t all babies with God? I think religion can be empowering and comforting, but not when it does try to explain away the saddness that is natural to feel in loss and make you feel like you should be at peace with this right away because it’s God’s will. I like what Lauren wrote that God is sad too. That’s perfect in fact.

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