As I read the online recipe, I glanced at the clock in the corner of my computer screen. “Oh, it’s seven o’clock!” I said to chris. I put down the mixing spoon, setting my brewing dinner aside for a minute, found a candle and lit it.
“Today is the the official pregnancy and infant loss day out of whole pregnancy and infant loss month. People are lighting candles at 7 across the world to remember their babies. ” I explained when Chris asked what it was for.
I felt kind of silly as the candle sat on my kitchen counter as I finished prepping. It seemed almost sacrilege. But once I got a free moment, I took the candle over to one of my favorite photos. I see it, in the corner of my eye, and though I’m going about my usual evening tasks, it’s there. Flickering, announcing my membership in a community that spans the globe, spans time- a wave of light they call it. Silly as I may feel, this is where I belong.
I remember always, but today I remember her loudly.