Day 4: Now
Now…I hold puppies. Before… I held babies. Now, after my baby died. Before, before my baby died.
My little pup is becoming my new world and a lifeline to the old world to which I belonged. In The Before, I was very social and outgoing; I would talk to strangers easily. In my Now, I’ve come a long way. At first I was that pariah like lump sitting in the corner at social gatherings, ready to burst into tears at any minute. Now I can socialize, being present in conversation, but I am far from the social butterfly I once was. Muppet, however, is the socialite I once was. Today, while at a cyclocross race, Muppet would walk up unabashedly to a group of people and stare up at them saying with her eyes “hi there! look at me!” So I was forced to interact with many more people than I would have. I practiced smiling and pleasantries with strangers, something I used to be good at. Now… I hold puppies and am slowly re-entering the world I used to be so comfortable in.