I stood in Petco staring at the wall of dog clothes. So many options to dress up your dog. There was a time when I would have thought these clothes to be quite silly, but now as I stared at them, a few weeks before my puppy would come home, I had mixed emotions.
“I’m going to dress our puppy up!” I warned Chris.
I looked at the racks of outfits, so very similar to the racks of clothes in a baby store and was wistful. When I was pregnant I went into a Carter’s once. I looked around for gender-neutral outfits and was sort of surprised at the lack. On one side of the store were the girl clothes and the other the boy clothes. Since we didn’t we didn’t know whether we were having a boy or a girl, I wanted to see what was out there. The entire girl section was essentially out, with too much pink and lace, but I found an outfit or two in the boys section that could go either way. I held up a gray striped onesie with a monkey on it, snapped a photo and sent it to Chris. I then put it back on the rack and walked out because my baby had Down Syndrome and I was afraid I was going to lose her. I didn’t want to jinx anything by actually buying an outfit. In my entire pregnancy, I bought only one outfit for Mabel . We called it a “coming home” outfit because it sounded less morbid than burial clothes and at the time, there was a theoretical chance she would be coming home.
I never got to shop for baby clothes for my daughter. I bought no toys and very few supplies (all purchased before we learned of her low fluid and its potentially fatal consequences). As I stood in front of the doggie clothes, I was excited in a way to relive what I should have experienced in my pregnancy- buying clothes for the wee one we would be bringing home. I also felt sad, reminded of the everyday baby preparing events I missed out on. It was bittersweet.
What (if anything) did you miss out on in pregnancy or afterwards?