Some people were raised well

She was a young woman. Some people do well at the gyn and for other’s it’s a struggle everytime to make it through the door. I had one patient tell me she’d rather come to me for a pap smear than go to the dentist (so true! Me too! Pelvics take 2 minutes, the dentists takes an hour!). Another patient tells me each time that she cant understand how I can do what I do. It all grosses her out.

This nervous young woman said in the middle of her visit- the visit that was focused on her and her issue and her nervousness around the exam- “I just want you to know I’m so sorry about your baby.”

In all her nerves and angst, she could take a minute a look outside herself and say something kind. That’s amazing.

I smiled. Thanked her. Thanked her for saying something.

It’s young women like these that make me want to hunt down their mothers and just say “Good job. You raised her well.”

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7 thoughts on “Some people were raised well

  1. Wonderful and beautiful.

    Sometimes I wonder, though, is it the child, the parent, or an external source that creates that understanding and maturity?

    I know a little girl who is famous for bringing smiles to everyone. Her Mama has the same ability, yet her Mama wasn’t raised by a Mom like that.

    I suppose it comes down to choice. Just as the young woman, your patient, chose to set aside her nerves to express her compassion to you.

    • absolutely. It’s a grand generalization that it’s her mother’s doing. It could be her father’s doing. It could be her aunt’s doing. It could be her own doing. I am just grateful to the universe for somehow helping some people do the nice thing.

  2. I marvel at this, at the people who can be so present, so unafraid, so kind. It is very rare. One of the people who responded the most appropriately to me after we lost our daughter was a stylist at my hair salon. She wasn’t my stylist, but she answered the phone when I called to book an appointment. I’d had to cancel my appointment the week before when our daughter died. When I explained that I was calling to re-book, and why, she said all the right things. I don’t think anyone handled it better. It wasn’t even what she said, although it was appropriate and kind, but that she was normal and at ease and it was clearly heartfelt. It’s such a gift to the grieving, this capacity for compassion, and it seems to come from unlikely places.

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