Today is International Bereaved Mother’s Day. All over my facebook feed are images like this:
Posted by people in my new community of babyloss mothers, celebrating those who might not be recognized as mothers in a traditional sense.
My heart is warmed seeing these, knowing that my community is rallying and showing love to one another on this day. Making us feel special and remembered as uniquely experienced moms.
My heart is also saddened seeing these. Sad that my community feels the need to have a special day for this. Sad that the rest of the world hardly knows it exists. And I can’t blame them; I didn’t know until I became a bereaved mother myself.
My heart is protective of seeing these. This holiday is so close to Mother’s Day that if the world did know about it, I’m afraid people would use it in place of Mother’s Day for us. And by separating us from Mother’s Day, it would be sending the message that we aren’t real mothers. We don’t count because we don’t have any living children (for those of us bereaved parents without any).
Anne Jarvis is considered the founder of Mother’s Day. She herself was a bereaved mother, having lost eight of her twelve children before they reached adulthood. (www.wvculture.org/history/jarvis.html).
Today is a day for her, for me and for my babyloss folk. May next Sunday be the same.